thoughts

people change, things change, matters change, life change

the earth is still spinning, the sun still shining, the stars still shimmering,
LIFE STILL HAVE TO GO ON.

theres too much of 'incident' happening these days..
i began to realize that this might not be a good year for me..
bad things coming like non-stop.
everything seems to fall in to a great big test.
testing me whether i am sober all the time.

its kinda scary.. makes me freak out sometimes.
but still.. this is life..
scary or not i will have to face it..

i understand that i dun really know what i want,
from myself and from others.
just, i hope to lead a normal life.
but with colour...
ironic isn't it..

i wanted alot of things which i might not get for the rest of my life..
but i still dream about it... theres nothing wrong about dreaming.
but when you are too obsessed with it..
it makes everything goes VERY wrong..

family, friends, lover..
friendship, love, passion...
cant actually blend in together very well...
i am trying hard to balance every element..
hope things will just turn out right.
but it never seems to work..
no matter how hard i work to fix a friendship or love,
i ruined it...
i am in deep dilemma whether i am out of the bound to make things right,
or i just dont have to ability to.

college is alwayz the best place to be..
and i just realized it..
i hope so much that i am still a student now...
whats the good when you were paid high,
but you lose all ur freedom?
i am still not prepared for that yet...

i wan my old life back...
dealing wif events.. making friends, screwing ppl...
but life does not make u-turns...

TT & OO...
sorry people... i really wud like to help..
but i am not me any more...
sorry....

i am tired... stupid viral infection...
gonna get some deep sleep..
hopefully 2ml will be a great day.

~ i alwayz hope that the bad things stays a nightmare and the good things remain real.. and again.. i am lying to myself~